Month: February 2020

Domestic violence is as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is utilize to achieve and/or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. This control entails any actions that will bring about fear, intimidation, terrorize, manipulation, hurt, humiliation, blame, injury and isolation, etc. Domestic violence does not discriminate, it is about control over a person and it can happen to anyone regardless of your race, age, economic class, marital status or gender. Many abusive partners may seem undeniably perfect in the early phases of a relationship. Remember, possessive and controlling actions do not always appear overnight, but rather develop and strengthen as the relationship continues to grow. Domestic violence is a leading cause of injury and death to women worldwide.

Domestic violence is as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is utilize to achieve and/or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. This control entails any actions that will bring about fear, intimidation, terrorize, manipulation, hurt, humiliation, blame, injury and isolation, etc. Domestic violence does not discriminate, it is about control over a person and it can happen to anyone regardless of your race, age, economic class, marital status or gender. Many abusive partners may seem undeniably perfect in the early phases of a relationship. Remember, possessive and controlling actions do not always appear overnight, but rather develop and strengthen as the relationship continues to grow. Domestic violence is a leading cause of injury and death to women worldwide.

Statistically, one out of every four women and one out of every seven men become victims of domestic violence. Due to the frequency and severity of domestic violence in intimate relationships, that the onslaught of not only the verbal, emotional, psychological and physical abuse inhibits the victim to catch a mental break.  The repetitiveness of such abuse denies the victim’s inability to mentally evaluate the trauma event and heal before the next event occurs.  As individuals, we all have different ways of thinking, thought processing, problem solving, strength and weaknesses (physical & mental), this is also true on how PTSD symptoms varies from one person to another.

According to Women’s Council for Domestic and Family Violence Services, WA “When a Woman is constantly abused and put down she may start to think of herself as worthless. Many women feel powerless. Many women stay in abusive relationships because they are too afraid to leave. If a Woman does decide to separate, it is not unusual for her to return to her abusive partner, particularly when appropriate support and assistance is not available.

Domestic violence can have long-term effects on a Woman. There may be emotional problems such as difficulty in trusting others. She may also suffer long-term effects on her health from physical injuries.

Not all the long-term effects are negative. Often a Woman dealing with domestic violence has developed incredible strengths in order to survive. To come out and move in to a new life living through years of violence is usually an extremely positive experience.”

Since every relationship is different, the appearance of domestic violence may look different in every relationship. One thing most abusive relationships have in common is to have more control and over their partner/victim.

Common signs of an abusive relationship includes:

* Tells you your worthless and you can never do anything right
* Demonstrates extreme jealousy of your friends and or time spent away
* Demonstrates extreme jealousy of your friends and or time spent away
* Isolates you from seeing/contacting friends or family members
* Insults, demeans, or shames you
* Controls every aspect of the finances in the household
* Refuses to give you money for necessary expenses
* Acts in ways that scare you or threatens to hurt or kill your pets
* Prevents you from making decisions
* Tells you that you are a bad parent, harms your children or threatens take them away
* Keeps you from working or attending school
* Destroys your property
* Threatens/hurting you with guns, knives or other weapons
* Prevents you from calling the police or getting medical assistance
* Abandoning you in unfamiliar places
* Pressures you to have sex or do things sexually you’re not comfortable with
* Locks you in the house, takes phone away from you
* Pressures you to use drugs or alcohol
* Pulling your hair, punching, slapping, kicking, biting or choking you
* Forbidding you from eating or sleeping.
* Tells you your worthless and you can never do anything right
* Demonstrates extreme jealousy of your friends and or time spent away
* Isolates you from seeing/contacting friends or family members
* Insults, demeans, shames you
* Controls every aspect of the finances in the household
* Refuses to give you money for necessary expenses
* Acts in ways that scare you or threatens to hurt or kill your pets
* Prevents you from making decisions
* Tells you that you are a bad parent, harms your children or threatens take them away
* Keeps you from working or attending school
* Destroys your property
* Threatens/hurting you with guns, knives or other weapons
* Prevents you from calling the police or getting medical assistance
* Abandoning you in unfamiliar places
* Pressures you to have sex or do things sexually you’re not comfortable with
* Locks you in the house, takes phone away from you
* Pressures you to use drugs or alcohol
* Pulling your hair, punching, slapping, kicking, biting or choking you
* Forbidding you from eating or sleeping

Domestic violence abusers are good at controlling and manipulating their victims. Their victims have endure emotional and or physical abused. The majority of them are often depressed, drained, scared, ashamed, and confused. They need help getting out of the situation, yet their partner has often isolated them from their family and friends. By recognizing and noticing the warning signs, we can offer our support, we can help them escape an abusive situation and allow them to begin healing.

Domestic Violence & the Bible

Some abusers have attempted to defend or excuse abuse by wrongfully using Scripture to support their actions.  Domestic violence goes against the very nature of our Lord, who is and always points to love. The Bible views all forms of domestic violence as sin.

“The LORD trieth the righteous: but the wicked and him that loveth violence his soul hateth.” Psalm 11:5

Malachi 2:16-17 “… Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.  And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.  For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.”

The Lord is very clear as to how we suppose to treat our wife. Scriptures clearly speaks out against responding with violence.

Colossians 3:19 “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.” And how wife are to be with their husband.

Colossians 3:18 “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.” Now, that is not a ticket for anyone to abuse their wife.

1 Peter 3:7 “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”

Ephesians 4:26 – 27 “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil.”

A painful truth about domestic violence is that ending a violent relationship can require navigating a complex and difficult minefield of emotional loss and loneliness. Many violent relationships endure multiple breakups and reunions. Leaving an explosive abusive relationship is not a simple choice as many who have never suffer such trauma believe it to be. Very seldom are relationships one-dimensional. Those relationships are entwine with shared history, shared dreams, and shared pain. While it is true that many abusers hold their victims captive through threats of violence, reputation destruction, financial ruin or physical danger, many victims also stay because they have lost their self-worth, their reputation damaged or destroyed. In midst of loss and pain, they feel they have no one to turn to. The one whom they thought would protect them from life’s trials has become their greatest intimate enemy

Psalm 55:4-5 “My heart is in anguish within me; the terrors of death have fallen on me. Fear and trembling have beset me; horror has overwhelmed me.” 

Psalm 55:12-14a “If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were rising against me, I could hide. But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship.”

Psalm 55:22-23 “Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken. 
But you, God, will bring down the wicked into the pit of decay; the bloodthirsty and deceitful will not live out half their days. But as for me, I trust in you.”

Trauma such as domestic violence can ultimately open doors regarding discussions of profound spiritual issues/concerns of faith, personal beliefs, lack of purpose, individuality, guiltiness, shame and forgiveness. Pastors and lay leaders should not be worried to tackle these concerns with biblical based solid theological.

In Hosea 4:6 we find these Words: My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge….  God’s calls upon His people to be a blessing, a helper, a light, and a resource to those that are lost, in need and hurting. We are God’s people with a purpose and mission. This is why our church, (BSCOG) has launched, “ReBoot, Beyond the Battlefield” Ministry to help anyone suffering from PTSD and equipping others in the body of believers on how to help others with whom they are able to reach out to. Our goal is to help church leaders, family member, friends, etc., from feeling unable to assist when someone is having a PTSD episode.

Many victims of domestic violence, who are bruised and battered in body and spirit, are looking and seeking to churches for comfort (physical and spiritual) and guidance. As such, as a community of faith, we must do more to ensure our place of worship (churches) are safe places for the survivors of domestic violence or any other type of abuse. How do we do that? By calling out, denouncing the sin of domestic violence in our churches, and allowing the Holy Spirit to bring about healing to the victims within the body of Christ. ~Dr. Tony A;varez

The term “Word of God” can and is used in different ways.  First, people use the Word of God as a description of the Bible and its Scripture that is contained within the pages.  Second, it is a phrase people use to describe the actual spoken words of God.  Although, there remains controversy within various denominations as to whether people can actually and physically hear the spoken Word of God today, there seems to be an acceptance that historically, God did speak directly to His children.  We can see this many times documented throughout the Old & New Testament of the Bible.  We can read and see how God spoke into existence everything that was created.  It is well documented in the Book of Genesis.  We can see where God spoke directly to Adam and Eve, at least prior to the downfall of man, and the need for repentance to it.  With the eating of the fruit, we see God physically spoke directly to Adam and Eve not to partake of it; furthermore, we can recognize how God begins to achieve redemption with a relationship of God and man throughout the rest of history.  Jesus Himself, spoke to the Apostle Paul on the road to Damascus, where his life was forever changed.  A Christophany that changed the world’s history and who can come to the Lord’s call of Salvation. A Christophany is an appearance or non-physical manifestation of Christ. Traditionally the term refers to visions of Christ after his ascension, such as the bright light of the Damascus Christophany.     

When one reads the Old Testament of the Bible, we can see where God spoke things into existence then a latter result of an existence creation. Additionally, we see that every time God physically spoke after the downfall of man, it was always to redeem a relationship with His creation. Of what He spoke, it was always to steer mankind in a different direction than what he was heading, because of the contrary of where God wanted him. With the writing and documentation of how God worked at that time, the Old Testament became the “Word of God,” because it is there that we can come to understand not only what God was speaking to man, but realize what God is speaking to us today. We can begin to understand Theology; The Doctrine of God. Yes, the “Word of God” is God’s spoken word as we earlier discussed, but it is Scripture and what God is saying to us even today in relation to the Bible being God’s continually spoken word. When asking your question as to what God is trying to say to you, think: the nature, person, and works of God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. Additionally, how your life is lining up to those attributes or God’s characteristics.

An initial question to those not well versed in the Bible would be whether God was able to redeem that relationship that He had with man as it was in His original creation.  The answer to God’s fulfillment of the covenant He had with man is concluded with the sending of His only Son to make the fulfillment happen.  Jesus Christ came to fulfill all that which God was speaking of and working to fulfill in the Old Testament, The Law.  When we look at Jesus being the fulfillment of everything God was speaking in the Old Testament of the Bible, we can accept the fact that Jesus is now the “Word of God”.  It becomes one and same, because of what is obtained by accepting Him and understanding what He did for you and me.  If God’s word was captured within the Old Testament and Jesus is now on earth to fulfill what God was speaking, then Jesus is now the fulfillment of what God was and is speaking.  Not only does the life of Jesus Christ become the “Word of God” but everything He physically spoke was documented in the New Testament and becomes the “Word of God”.  John 1:1 KJV says, In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  Jesus at times even said that He is what God is.  For example, Jesus said in John 15:4-8 NKJV, “Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. 5 “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. 7 If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. 8 By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.  It becomes the same that God’s Word is His Scripture in the Bible as a documentation of His history but also that Jesus is now the “Word of God” fulfilled in human form again for the redemption of that special relationship He had with His creation.

Upon the departure of Jesus to remain at the Father’s right hand until His second coming, man was to wait upon the Holy Spirit that Jesus had promised them.  It is the Holy Spirit that continues that work of Jesus Christ and was in turn the work of God here on earth.  Because the Holy Spirit is God and part of the trinity of His existence, we must see the Holy Spirit, as Jesus Christ was, the continuing “Word of God”.  When we can accomplish this, we can tap into the power we need for correct and appropriate biblical interpretation.  We can ask and trust the Holy Spirit to illuminate our minds and hearts and properly allow us to understand God’s speech-act.  What is it God is trying to say to us?  A biblical interpreter can always take the Holy Bible, read it, and take the scripture for face value; however, there initiates the possibility of wrongful interpretation.  If you seek council and guidance from the Holy Spirit for correct and insightful interpretation then the interpreter can see the correct interlacing of God’s will and Word upon His interpretation; somewhat of a double check that he or she is correctly interpreting the act behind God’s will and not the mindful guess of what the interpreter has concluded to, by happenstance or a self-personal drive behind what he may want the interpretation to be.

It may sound deep at first to understand what God is saying to us as with the inquiry I discussed earlier, but as in anything when the motive is pure and right behind the search, then the outcome most likely will surface as well.  In understanding that the “Word of God”, at one time being physical and audible to most people is documented in the Bible and now as God’s spoken Word captured in the scripture of the written print of the Bible, we can understand that we can use the Bible to understand God’s spoken word or the act behind what He wants to say to us.  We can then see the covenant fulfillment in the life and words of Jesus Christ and accept that it was not only the fulfillment of what God wanted but the furthering of what God wanted to say to us.  Moreover, the work of the Holy Spirit then is the continuing the “Word of God. He captures not only what is in the Bible, but we can see His effect on us to understand what God wants to say to us today.  So, “What is God saying” or what is the “Word of God”?  As a basis we need to seek council of the Holy Spirit to allow us to be open enough to understand what God wants from us as seen in the life of Jesus Christ and what God was saying to His children prior to God sending His son to us for an example to reach Him.  By doing this, we can then understand, “What is God saying to me?”
~Richard E. Dixon, Th.D. (Exec Pastor @ Boyette Springs COG)

TIME

Our Most Precious Commodity

“When you kill time, remember that it has no resurrection.”

A. W. Tozer

Time is the rare and precious commodity that can only be redeemed and bring a return if it is used wisely. Paul said best when writing to the church at Ephesus:

Look carefully then how you walk! Live purposefully and worthily and accurately, not as the unwise and witless, but as wise (sensible, intelligent people), Making the very most of the time [buying up each opportunity], because the days are evil.

• Ephesians 5:15-16 amp

It is hard to believe that we are now 2 decades into this new millennia, far removed from the Y2K fiasco. The old axiom, “time flies when you’re having fun,” doesn’t adequately capture the reality of life, time rapidly moves regardless of our level of satisfaction. Solomon surveyed this reality in Ecclesiastes 3, he pointed out that times and seasons are part of the order of God and everything is beautiful in His time (v11). However, the Preacher seems to interpret all things in this life as vanity.

The focal point for Solomon seems to be the difficulty and toil of man as well as the endless pursuit of pleasure to which he admittedly attempted with great regularity and success. When listening to the Preacher bemoan his life, love and labor, one might believe he was a little depressed, consider his words:

Whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them. I did not withhold my heart from any pleasure, For my heart rejoiced in all my labor; And this was my reward from all my labor.

Then I looked on all the works that my hands had done And on the labor in which I had toiled; And indeed all was vanity and grasping for the wind. There was no profit under the sun.

• Ecclesiastes 2:10-11 amp

Many of the things that Solomon pursued throughout his life turned out to be time wasters that had zero eternal value and those hours could not be redeemed. What was true in antiquity remains true today and more so as modernity has brought about great technological advancement, which has actually created an environment where it is easy to not make wise us of the time afforded us each and every day. But this is not the end of the story, Solomon’s message and final impartation of wisdom is found in the second to the last verse in the last chapter of Ecclesiastes:

All has been heard; the end of the matter is: Fear God [revere and worship Him, knowing that He is] and keep His commandments, for this is the whole of man [the full, original purpose of his creation, the object of God’s providence, the root of character, the foundation of all happiness, the adjustment to all
inharmonious circumstances and conditions under the sun] and the whole [duty] for every man.

• Ecclesiastes 12:13 amp

As we consider the scripture’s admonition to make the most of our time and to serve God, keeping His commands in reverent fear, which the Preacher declares is mankind’s highest call, how will we live our life in 2020? Will it be in vain pursuits, time wasters or will we be frugal with this precious commodity, seeking only to invest in that which brings the greatest return. Here are 3 things we can do to aid in the pursuit of healthier time management:

1. Prioritize our time to honor God daily
2. Identify areas of waste and make corrections
3. Develop healthier patterns to maximize opportunities

This may seem simplistic but in truth, it requires sacrifice and discipline, both of which  not as easy as we might believe.

Final thought, for the person truly being led by the Spirit of God, this is actually a natural process, or it should be!

Blessings,

Pastor Michael